Saturday, December 27, 2014

Bad Habit

I've been eating before going to bed almost every night for the past couple of months.

It must be the weather.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Anti-social me

Let's be honest. I am very anti-social. It takes a great effort for me to go out, meeting people and pretend like i am having fun. 

But they are people that i love meeting and wish i could meet everyday. These are to me, my real friends. The ones that i don't have to pretend like i am having fun because I AM having fun with them everytime i see them. I love them like my own family. 

And there's this other group. The kind of people that only talk to me because:

1. They need me to do them a favor

2. There's no one else to talk to

Most times i don't mind helping.

But now it gets to a point that, they include me because i can help them get what they want. And the cruelest part is, when they are together, they can turn all cliquey and very mean. Suddenly they would avoid having a conversation with me. And they would share their inside jokes that i have no idea about. 

It annoys me because i am not friends with any of them because i want to be part of the group. I am friends with them just because. I don't do cliques ok. So budak2. Get over it! 

So i am now slowly withdrawing myself from these people. I am happy with having the few real friends that i have rather than a lot of fake ones.

I am happy being in the minority.

I don't need to be in any 'groups' or 'cliques'. 

I am anti-social anyway. 

Friday, August 29, 2014

Once a upon a time in Dubai

Rindu nak travel lagi! 

Dubai town has it's modern and old side.
I prefer the old side of Dubai. The modern side reminds me a lot of Kuala Lumpur. There is really not much difference. The malls, the high rise buildings, the bling-bling and whatnot - all too similar.

While the old side of Dubai actually reminds me a lot of Cairo. Minus the dust! The old side is more humble, a lot more traditional, of course ; and much calmer. Err, actually the whole of Dubai is a lot calmer compared to KL and Cairo.

Our trip to Dubai wasn't a planned trip or holiday. We needed to get out of Egypt and come back again in order to renew our visas. Yup, we've been using tourist visas for the whole time we were in Egypt. And we are still using them now too! I am not really clear as to why we have been granted a residence visa or a valid working permit for Mr. Husband, but as long as we are not encountering any problems in our daily activities, I am happy with whatever type of visa that is available for us. Except, for the fact that we have to be out of the country and return in order to renew them every 3 months. But, hey, I am not complaining! Out of the country - overseas trip! Hoyeahh! Hahahaha! It'll be a tight budget for sure but I am not really in shopping mood when travelling, so that's a lot less of money to spend on, really. 

(I am justifying why it is okay to 'live' on a tourist visa - because Mr Husband actually hates it for some reasons (one of it is because of issues when trying to withdraw money from the bank here) ) 

One of the things i planned to do while in Dubai was bungee jumping. I had always to bungee jump. I am not that brave and i am scared of heights but i feel like i needed to do it. Perhaps because i spent too many hours watching The Amazing Race, and watching the contestants do all sorts of crazy stuff. Anyway, i didn't do it when i was there. It was not because i chickened out. It was because the day before we plan to check out the place for the bungee jump, we were shakened by a news of a passing of a Malaysia friend in Cairo due to an accident. I was very shocked to hear the news that i was crying in disbelief after Iffa, another friend of mine called from Cairo to inform me.

So yes. I didn't really feel like i should be doing something outrageous like bungee jumping or even going out shopping for that matter. We spent the rest of the 2 remaining days in Dubai just sight-seeing.   We didn't go back to Cairo immediately either because arwah's jenazah was still in Matrouh Hospital (abt 5-6 hrs journey from Cairo). We didn't know exactly when they will transfer her jenazah to Cairo, but the guys and girls in Cairo did keep us updated on the status. When we came back to Cairo 2 days later, jenazah was already on the flight back to Malaysia for the funeral. I didn't get to see arwah K Azlyn for one last time but the memories that we shared are still fresh in my mind.

I really don't want to end this post in a sad note. I do miss K Alyn (that's what i call her ;) ) She was like a sister i never have. We weren't the closest pair within the bunch but she definitely was someone i shared most of my jokes with. And she was the first to say i took great photos & she loves the way i capture the moments.  To hear that from a professional photographer herself; it was one of the best compliments that i received in a long time.

And she was (and i think is the only one) that believes i have premonition powers. Hahaha. I told her some of the stuff that happened before, how sometimes i have a dream, and the next day a similar thing happened -- either to myself , to the people nearby or i see it on the news somewhere else. I know it's actually a coincidence, but she said it could be a gift i never knew existed. Whoa, that reminds me a lot of that series i watched on Qatar Airways but i can't recall the name of the series now. About a child that can see the past, and the future. Scary, but magical.

What k Alyn said means a lot to me.
It makes me believe in myself.

Maybe i should try for that bungee jump again. Where shall we head next? Macau, maybe? ;)

At the top of Burj Khalifa

Chocolate with Dates + Hazelnuts. Yumzzz

At Dubai Dolphinarium. The place where I fell in love with dolphins. 

A lot more photos are still in my camera memory card. These are only a few that were captured on Mr. Husband's hand phone. 

I'm writing about our trip to Istanbul next. It has been a year since we went there and i haven't posted a single word about it here. I will ... Stay tuned!! 

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

How i miss blogging

I've been itching to write ... 

I have some wonderful, silly, 'whatthefish' stories that i would love to share. 

Soon...stay tuned!

Friday, February 07, 2014

So i did it

It's not the first time. I'm sure it's not. But it's a long time since the last time i hit my son. I cant even remember when was the last time i did it.

He's getting on my nerves. Big time. With all the crying at home and at school, for the simplest and silliest of things. 

Like when he dropped his clay onto the floor . And it broke. He cried. Ok, maybe it is really a heartbreaking thing for a 5-Yo. But he will also cry when i asked him to take his shower. And when his sister wanted to watch another show on youtube. And when the ice-cream that i scooped for him was smaller than his sister's. And also when he lost to his sister when running up the stairs to our apartment. He'll cry when he mispelled something and i corrected him. And when he miscalculate something and i showed him the right answer.  He cried for everything. Every (i wish i cud swear) thing!! 

I tried to be patient. To empathize with him. I did. Oh God knows i really did. 

Until...My som decided to test my limits.

He peed on the floor. I could assume it was an accident. But i cant help thinking that he did it on purpose to get my attention.

It's not the mess that he created. Not the fact that his urine was everywhere on the floor and on the carpet. Not the fact that i need to clean it up after that. 

It's the fact that he didnt think i would be mad at him that pissed me off. The fact that he thought he could get away just by making that innocent look on his face. That. That really pissed me off.

So i hit him. I yelled at him. I cant tolerate this behavior and i never will. That's just too much for me. He cant always has the upper hand. I need to teach him a lesson. Discipline him. Screw all those parenting tips. It just didnt work on my son.

And you know what? That's not even the worse part. The worse part is - i dont even feel guilty about it. I think he deserved it. And that's a scary thought. Because me with all my heart, i dont ever want to lay a finger on any of my children. Ever, again.

But what if that's the (only) effective way? What if my son or my other kids are the kind that respond only to authoritative military like parenting? What if me being a gentle mom would only cause more harm to them in the future than being a tiger mom?

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