Friday, February 07, 2014

So i did it

It's not the first time. I'm sure it's not. But it's a long time since the last time i hit my son. I cant even remember when was the last time i did it.

He's getting on my nerves. Big time. With all the crying at home and at school, for the simplest and silliest of things. 

Like when he dropped his clay onto the floor . And it broke. He cried. Ok, maybe it is really a heartbreaking thing for a 5-Yo. But he will also cry when i asked him to take his shower. And when his sister wanted to watch another show on youtube. And when the ice-cream that i scooped for him was smaller than his sister's. And also when he lost to his sister when running up the stairs to our apartment. He'll cry when he mispelled something and i corrected him. And when he miscalculate something and i showed him the right answer.  He cried for everything. Every (i wish i cud swear) thing!! 

I tried to be patient. To empathize with him. I did. Oh God knows i really did. 

Until...My som decided to test my limits.

He peed on the floor. I could assume it was an accident. But i cant help thinking that he did it on purpose to get my attention.

It's not the mess that he created. Not the fact that his urine was everywhere on the floor and on the carpet. Not the fact that i need to clean it up after that. 

It's the fact that he didnt think i would be mad at him that pissed me off. The fact that he thought he could get away just by making that innocent look on his face. That. That really pissed me off.

So i hit him. I yelled at him. I cant tolerate this behavior and i never will. That's just too much for me. He cant always has the upper hand. I need to teach him a lesson. Discipline him. Screw all those parenting tips. It just didnt work on my son.

And you know what? That's not even the worse part. The worse part is - i dont even feel guilty about it. I think he deserved it. And that's a scary thought. Because me with all my heart, i dont ever want to lay a finger on any of my children. Ever, again.

But what if that's the (only) effective way? What if my son or my other kids are the kind that respond only to authoritative military like parenting? What if me being a gentle mom would only cause more harm to them in the future than being a tiger mom?

Thursday, February 06, 2014

A very worrisome week

1. Hafiz has been crying at school. A lot of times this week. And also a few times last week. He's overly sensitive these days. A simple tease from a friend will leave him crying throughout a period of class. And today, he cried through lunch time just because his teacher asked him to move to the end of the line (while they were quieing to go for lunch). ;(

I am trying all methods possible to boost Hafiz's self esteem, n to let him realize the effect of all his crying. His classmates had started to distance themselves from him ; including his best mate! I see they are still nice to him though, but they wont play with Hafiz because (i think) they 'fear' of his outburst :( i talked to his teachers about my concern - not the reaction of the kids, but Hafiz's own behavior towards the situation. I dont want him to feel left out but at the same time i dont want the teachers or the other kids had to 'comply' to Hafiz's needs all the time. If anything, i dont blame the kids for acting the way they are (with the teasing n everything). I think i hugely blame myself for not preparing Hafiz enough for what might happen at school, how he should react and stuff like all those School survival skills. At times i was wondering if this is the effect of being the only boy in the family + being the eldest. Maybe he is sick of palting the big brother role at house at decided to go all manja at school. Is it? Aaaaarggghh. I seriously need to undo this. Undo his behVior. But how?

2. Aina is sick. Like really sick. She had runny nose and heavy cough. And then she had fever. A very high one. Her temperature didnt seem to subside at all. We had sleepless nights for 3 consecutive nights already. What makes it even more worrisome is the news of the outbreak of H1N1 in Cairo. There are already 24 death due to the virus according to the source. 

Anyway, i hope Aina is recovering soon. I miss her bubbly cheeky self. She's been clingy n cranky for the past couple of days.

Hope things will be better soon.

Monday, February 03, 2014


Since when does an anti-social person like me enjoy parties?
Well, perhaps when I have great people around me to party with ! :)

The parties were held for farewells to friends who were leaving Egypt - 2 of them were actually the first 2 friends i had when i first came to Egypt. I spent most of my time in the past year with them, but at the end of the year both their husbands left the company for another job at our home country. I'm happy for them but i am sad for me. Cruel twist of fate ain't it? However, life must go on. I have to keep calm and party on~~

These photos represent some of the before (preparation), during and post events. 

1. Arabian Night themed farewell party for Mc Leen & Cheng - girls only hence there were no pictures that can be shared with any of us in it..except maybe the one with Mc Leen wearing an abaya with the niqab on her face. gambar gegirls lain sgt bahaya utk tontonan umum.

2. Pinky farewell party for Jojo & Tan (the husbands). We purposely chose pink because we wanted our husbands to wear pink. of course ada yg ngelat but drg kena denda pastu.hehehe. 

3. 'Autumn in my Heart' - eh Autumn themed party for K Yan's housewarming + AisyahB's farewell. It was actually in mid winter. it was freezing cold outside but K Yan's house was warm throughout the party. A 'housewarming' indeed.

4. Clock themed birthday party for K Mas's son, Hilman. the food was all prepared by k mas n masakan kampung uols. i likeeee :)

5. In between these parties, I organized a party for Alya at her school. She turned 4 in November. Aina turned 2 and i havent done a proper celebration for her. I did one for Hafiz last 3 weeks, but i totally forgot that i hadnt had one for Aina. I should. at least just us family with a cake for Aina. And maybe Alya too. school parties dont count. must be a family party. It's a tradition that i am intending to continue foreverrr. and ever.

“The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.” ― Frederick Buechner

Friday, November 08, 2013

I miss you

Hi blog! 

I miss u.. Hope i can find the time to write again soon.


Monday, September 30, 2013

School clubs

September is the beginning of a new school year for us here in Egypt and also some other countries in the world. This year, Hafiz is in Year 1 which is equivalent to Standard 1 in Malaysia and he is only 5 YO!

So yes, he cant really read yet but i am pleasantly surprise that after a week of school he is able to catch up and has now begun to read on his own & he got the words right! Alhamdulillah. I was really worried if he couldnt catch up, mostly because i didnt do much of homeschooling as i thought i would during the summer break (which then turned into evacuation break :p).

Ok, the best part about starting primary school is the after school activities aka clubs!

There werent many options available which maybe due to the lack of tenaga pengajar, so we decided what's best for Hafiz according to 1. His interest 2. His needs 3. His timetable

Hafiz's interest is mainly Lego. The closest availble club that offers 'builing' skills is the salt dough making club. It sounds interesting enough but hafiz spebt most of his time with his Lego at home so we think it's best if he do something that is more physical.

Our top 3 choice:
1. Football
2. Tae kwon do
3. Art

Hafiz gets to enter maximum 2 clubs. Based on our preference, Hafiz was accepted to Football and Tae kwon do. He attended Tae Kwon do on Tuesday last week and surprisingly, he didnt like it. During the evacuation break Hafiz and Alya attented Tae Kwon do classes at their school in Kl and seemed to enjoy them but he didnt like it here. I sense that it must be because his bestfriend, Aayush is not in the club with him. 

So yes, being an overly concern and loving mum that i am (heehuu) i had requested for Hafiz to change from Tae kwon do to Swimming (he told me Aayush is Swimming club). Luckily, there was 1 spot still available for Y1 student. Pheww.

When deciding the clubs for Hafiz, we based on the 3 factors mentioned. However, honestly, for football, it is a must. Whatever is the 2nd choice, i'm ok with it. But football must be in. It's my hope to see Hafiz excel in this sport. I want him to be a great footballer, and able to play for Liverpool. Wah! X larats tau cita2 mama. Anyway, i am serious.

That feeling when i saw Hafiz dribbled the ball across the field up to the goal post this afternoon, that feeling of anticipation, mixed with a near-tear proudness, that feeling that's indescribable everytime i see my team almost scoring a goal and finally net in one.. And noe to see my own son did that...That feeling is priceless!

And i know hubby n i had made the perfect decision for Hafiz.


P/s: We're getting a new pair of jersey for Hafiz because 'it aint cool wearing school t-shirt for football, mama!'

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