He's getting on my nerves. Big time. With all the crying at home and at school, for the simplest and silliest of things.
Like when he dropped his clay onto the floor . And it broke. He cried. Ok, maybe it is really a heartbreaking thing for a 5-Yo. But he will also cry when i asked him to take his shower. And when his sister wanted to watch another show on youtube. And when the ice-cream that i scooped for him was smaller than his sister's. And also when he lost to his sister when running up the stairs to our apartment. He'll cry when he mispelled something and i corrected him. And when he miscalculate something and i showed him the right answer. He cried for everything. Every (i wish i cud swear) thing!!
I tried to be patient. To empathize with him. I did. Oh God knows i really did.
Until...My som decided to test my limits.
He peed on the floor. I could assume it was an accident. But i cant help thinking that he did it on purpose to get my attention.
It's not the mess that he created. Not the fact that his urine was everywhere on the floor and on the carpet. Not the fact that i need to clean it up after that.
It's the fact that he didnt think i would be mad at him that pissed me off. The fact that he thought he could get away just by making that innocent look on his face. That. That really pissed me off.
So i hit him. I yelled at him. I cant tolerate this behavior and i never will. That's just too much for me. He cant always has the upper hand. I need to teach him a lesson. Discipline him. Screw all those parenting tips. It just didnt work on my son.
And you know what? That's not even the worse part. The worse part is - i dont even feel guilty about it. I think he deserved it. And that's a scary thought. Because ...trust me with all my heart, i dont ever want to lay a finger on any of my children. Ever, again.
But what if that's the (only) effective way? What if my son or my other kids are the kind that respond only to authoritative military like parenting? What if me being a gentle mom would only cause more harm to them in the future than being a tiger mom?